Some Peaceful Moments Amidst the Chaos

It seems the theme for most summers is "Hurry up and slow down". We try to cram so many wonderful experiences into these few short months of summer that the pace is often very hectic, yet we try to sprinkle that with some days of relative leisure as well...those days where we just "chill out" at home, the kids and I enjoying each other's company (and each of us probably also wishing for just a little "alone time" sometimes).

This summer feels like one of our most balanced yet. We're busy, but not insanely so. The kids are getting along well for the most part, with the usual sibling bickering from time to time. Each of the kids has a week of camp this summer (day camp for Theo, overnight for the girls) which gives me extra time with the other two while one is away. We've enjoyed some wonderful experiences, yet I don't think we'll even come close to being able to check off everything we wrote on our "summer ideas list". And you know what? That's okay with me. It seems to be just fine with the kids, too.

Annie is starting middle school in September -- a major life change for any kid -- and we have had some great heart-to-heart talks about it. She started taking some babysitting jobs this summer and it has been heart-tugging to see my daughter taking care of other people's children (and doing it well, I might add) and earning her own spending money. Caroline is showing such maturity this summer, more independence, more awareness of the needs and feelings of others. I find myself frequently thanking her for her positive attitude and her help with various tasks. Theo is his usual sweet, funny self, enjoying the opportunity to try new things, like a couple all-day zoo classes by himself and a week of day camp this week where he has experienced many new adventures and greets me with all kinds of stories at the end of each day. The first day I dropped him off, I kissed him goodbye and watched in the rear-view mirror as he trudged up the hill to the building where they start their day, his backpack bulging on his back with everything a kid needs for summer day camp. He looked back only once, very briefly, and then off he went. We had taken a tour of the camp several weeks earlier, but he didn't know anyone there yet and everything was new and I thought to myself "There goes my baby...in more ways than one." So brave and ready for "big kid" adventures like his older sisters.

Yet as much as I am enjoying all the fun with the kids this summer, life is so different around here during these months. The housework doesn't go away (darn it) and "Mom time" is in short supply. From the moment my feet hit the ground in the morning until we put the kids to bed, I would dare say that the name "Mom" is spoken at least a thousand times. I go upstairs to use the bathroom, just to buy myself a few minutes of quiet (and it doesn't always work). There are many days where each of the kids has their own "agenda" for the day and I become the mediator to help find a solution that everyone can accept. Such is the life of a busy mom of three kids, right?

Well, I have discovered the secret to surviving those hectic, stressful days. I have had a couple really wonderful peaceful moments mixed in amidst the chaos. A couple weeks ago, Theo was invited to join the girls and their dad and step-mom for a weekend at a cabin in northern Wisconsin. Steve and I enjoyed a whole weekend to ourselves. We slept late, had a wonderful gourmet group night, went to a movie and took a 10-mile bike ride. While on our bike ride, we found a little side path that opened into a huge meadow and we laid in the grass and read books and just closed our eyes and took in the sunshine and the perfect breeze that was blowing. We stayed there at least an hour. No one interrupted us to break up an argument or ask for a snack. No one called our names. We barely even spoke to each other. We had time to just "be" as a couple. It was bliss. I do get alone time with my husband. We take date nights from time to time and we sit at night and talk to each other or watch a movie together after the kids go to bed. Of course, we could always use more. And time alone OUTDOORS just for fun, not to work in the yard? And to have it be a perfect, sunny, breezy day to boot? It's almost unheard of and all I can say is I wish I could bottle that day and save it forever. I guess the memory will have to do.

My other recent peaceful moment was a week ago. Annie was at band camp, Caroline was spending the day with her cousins and Theo was at a class at the zoo. Rather than drive home and back again, I decided to stay in Milwaukee and kill time until I could pick up Theo again five hours later. I had a list of possible things I could do, but first I headed to Barnes and Noble. I adore bookstores. I always have. My mom and I loved visiting them together during my childhood. As an adult, though, I don't get many opportunities to just leisurely browse. The kids are usually with me and I don't feel comfortable letting Theo out of my sight, even with the girls, so I usually just stay in the kids' area with them while they browse. Last Thursday, at the bookstore all by myself, I was in heaven. I browsed until my stomach started growling, then headed next door to P.F. Chang's for some lunch (and I read uninterrupted while I ate) and then decided to go BACK to the bookstore and browse some more after lunch, where I sat and enjoyed some tea and people-watched and read some more of my book. I ended up spending about four hours at Barnes and Noble that day! It was a pleasure I wouldn't allow myself often (there always seem to be other "more important" things to do), but it certainly was fun. I was practically giddy when I walked out of there! Talk about feeling energized and ready to dive back into "Mom mode" again.

Last Saturday, I went to see a movie with three friends and last night I had dinner with a friend I used to teach with that I hadn't seen in about four years. We talked non-stop for three hours and they had to kick us out of the restaurant so they could close the place! It was such a pleasure to laugh and talk like that.

These little moments are so vital and I am often guilty of not taking them when I should, but in these past few weeks I have allowed myself to take them when I can and I really feel a difference in my mood when I do. It's not about needing to get away from my kids. It's about getting back to ME for a brief time. And it always makes me a better mom.

What do YOU do to find those peaceful moments in your life, either alone or with your partner? What moments have you had recently? Please share your ideas in the comments!