Theo (while I was helping him dry off after a bath): Mom, if I could I would tell you "I love you" a thousand times.
Me: Really? Why?
Theo: Because I just love you so, so much.
As he climbed into my lap for a big hug, all I could think of was how very blessed I am and how much I love the fact that little boys can be just as sweet, loving and snuggly as little girls. I wonder if he has any idea how one little conversation like this can have me wrapped around his little finger. I'll never tell. :)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
A Little Boy's Love Gets Me Through the Day
Today would've been my Mom's 75th birthday. Sadly, we lost her to diabetes three years ago and she wasn't able to celebrate what should've been a milestone event in her life. These days are so hard for me. Mother's Day, the day she passed away, her birthday. I think about her so much, on any given day, but these certain days still hurt the most. How do you ever get over losing someone that meant the world to you? How do you shrink the gaping hole left by their absence?
Today I knew staying inside wasn't the answer. Something about fresh air and being in the midst of nature always helps me on days like this. The weather forecast called for rain so after breakfast I asked Theo if he would go for a bike ride with me before the rain arrived. He readily agreed, never turning down a chance to ride his bike. I threw my camera and my journal in a pack and we headed out.
We stopped a few times along the way to observe the signs of fall and there were many. Theo especially loved the milkweed pods and the clusters of "helicopter seeds" hanging from the trees.
As we journeyed down the bike path, we passed a path leading to a corn field and we decided to check it out. Theo had never walked through a corn field before and he was amazed to discover the corn was three times his height. It doesn't look that tall riding past it in the car!
He collected several rocks he found amidst the stalks (a thrill because they are studying rocks in his class right now). We spent quite a bit of time just exploring the corn field, discovering dried up ears that had served as a snack for a wandering animal, peeking at each other between rows, amazed at the perfect lines of corn stalks that seemed to go on for miles.
When our curiosity about the corn field was satisfied, we got back on our bikes and continued on to the playground. We whispered to each other in the little "talking tubes" on opposite ends of the play structure and Theo showed me his tricks on the fire pole and monkey bars. He peeked at me through a hole in the tube, making his famous silly faces and hamming it up for the camera.
After we'd played for a while, I told Theo I was going to write in my journal for a few minutes while he played. He was content to explore on his own for a while, having the whole playground to himself, while I sat nearby to write. Within a few minutes, though, he came over and said "What are you writing, Mom?"
"I'm writing about Grammy. Today's her birthday and I miss her."
He sat down beside me and put his arm around me. "Will you read it to me?"
I paraphrased for him, not wanting to share every detail. When I was finished, he climbed up on my lap and gave me a hug. Tears streamed down my face as I told him how much Grammy loved him and reminded him of the times she read to him, sang songs to him, picked berries with him. I told him how proud she would be of his amazing reading and spelling skills and that she was an excellent speller and loved to read, too. I told him she would be so happy to see that he is such a loving little boy and that she would have delighted in all of his funny jokes and stories.
He looked up at my face and said "I think we should go home now, Mom, so you can spend some time with Daddy." He hugged me again, took my hand and said "Come on, Mom." My thoughtful, sensitive, loving little boy.
As we rode back toward home, he said "That was a great bike ride. We saw a lot of nature and I love nature."
His love and his ability to enjoy the simple things is enough to get me through even the worst day. I was blessed with an amazing mother and she would be so delighted with this little boy that she only knew for a few short years. And now he and his sisters, who all remind me of her in little ways, are the blessings of my present and my future.
Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you and I miss you more than I can express.
Today I knew staying inside wasn't the answer. Something about fresh air and being in the midst of nature always helps me on days like this. The weather forecast called for rain so after breakfast I asked Theo if he would go for a bike ride with me before the rain arrived. He readily agreed, never turning down a chance to ride his bike. I threw my camera and my journal in a pack and we headed out.
We stopped a few times along the way to observe the signs of fall and there were many. Theo especially loved the milkweed pods and the clusters of "helicopter seeds" hanging from the trees.
As we journeyed down the bike path, we passed a path leading to a corn field and we decided to check it out. Theo had never walked through a corn field before and he was amazed to discover the corn was three times his height. It doesn't look that tall riding past it in the car!
He collected several rocks he found amidst the stalks (a thrill because they are studying rocks in his class right now). We spent quite a bit of time just exploring the corn field, discovering dried up ears that had served as a snack for a wandering animal, peeking at each other between rows, amazed at the perfect lines of corn stalks that seemed to go on for miles.
When our curiosity about the corn field was satisfied, we got back on our bikes and continued on to the playground. We whispered to each other in the little "talking tubes" on opposite ends of the play structure and Theo showed me his tricks on the fire pole and monkey bars. He peeked at me through a hole in the tube, making his famous silly faces and hamming it up for the camera.
After we'd played for a while, I told Theo I was going to write in my journal for a few minutes while he played. He was content to explore on his own for a while, having the whole playground to himself, while I sat nearby to write. Within a few minutes, though, he came over and said "What are you writing, Mom?"
"I'm writing about Grammy. Today's her birthday and I miss her."
He sat down beside me and put his arm around me. "Will you read it to me?"
I paraphrased for him, not wanting to share every detail. When I was finished, he climbed up on my lap and gave me a hug. Tears streamed down my face as I told him how much Grammy loved him and reminded him of the times she read to him, sang songs to him, picked berries with him. I told him how proud she would be of his amazing reading and spelling skills and that she was an excellent speller and loved to read, too. I told him she would be so happy to see that he is such a loving little boy and that she would have delighted in all of his funny jokes and stories.
He looked up at my face and said "I think we should go home now, Mom, so you can spend some time with Daddy." He hugged me again, took my hand and said "Come on, Mom." My thoughtful, sensitive, loving little boy.
As we rode back toward home, he said "That was a great bike ride. We saw a lot of nature and I love nature."
His love and his ability to enjoy the simple things is enough to get me through even the worst day. I was blessed with an amazing mother and she would be so delighted with this little boy that she only knew for a few short years. And now he and his sisters, who all remind me of her in little ways, are the blessings of my present and my future.
Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you and I miss you more than I can express.
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